The Blower's Daughter

I watched Closer early Saturday morning. It was an excellent movie. It had a cast of four and the story was the highlight of the movie. To be able to love and to lose and then to love again. A conflict of interests between four people. To feel sincere and to act on impulse or to love completely and not love at all.

"And so it is, just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me most of the time. And so it is; the shorter story; no love, no glory. No hero in her sky."

Love itself is complex. What is love, really? Chemical imbalance? True emotion? Purely speculative? Can you truly love somebody you like? Lust? Hate? Does love come about truly spontaneously? Can it be felt eventually? Is it all a designation of mind depending on the person?

Is it love to be drawn to somebody without a reason? Without a one that can be designated a reason instead of a "just because" or an "I don't know"? Is it love to have strayed to long another, only to have returned to the one? Is there not a reason for a straying? Is the reason for the longing all the more stronger because of the return? Is it worth the trouble of time to wait at all, to stand by in quiet uttering the quiet, "yes" and complimenting the simple fact? Is it worth a wait, if only to be shot down, if at all the case?

What of unrequited love? Abraham Cowley writes, "A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all pains, the greatest pain it is to love but love in vain." There are always the situations in which this arises, to which the suitor simply relents and abandons the cause. Perhaps with time the pain will recede. Still, though, there are the times when the feeling does not go.

"And so it is, just like you said it should be. We'll both forget the breeze most of the time. And so it is; the colder water, the blower's daughter the pupil in denial."

I've heard the words of unrequited love in music. From Bell Bottom Blues to Layla. But the most prominent comes about in Don't Cry (the words themselves perhaps advice): "I thought I could live in your world as years all went by. With all the voices I've heard, something has died. And when you're in need of someone my heart won't deny you. So many seem so lonely with no one left to cry to."

Nevermind the quiet chord progressions made into arpeggios or the solo ending and starting on the same not. The words still ring true regardless of the times or the circumstances or the cast. It's chilling to hear the song again and again, maybe because of personal relevance or maybe because the song is that powerful. Whatever it is, it must be one of the two to have left such an indelible mark.

But to forget it all is something impossible. For somebody as sentimental as myself, I could not bring myself to forget. To forget is to lose something and loss is something I fear. I guess that's why I keep the little things, regardless of how important they were. They bring back the memories and when I forget them, they'll still be there to jog the mind. Even if I could forget it all, I wouldn't.

"Oh, did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?"

As I've always said, there's always hope. But who knows how far hope can go to prolong the inevitable? Is it even favourable? The inevitable hardly ever is. The optimist can't help but thinking there will be bluer skies while the pessimist can't help but thinking that there will be more rain.

"I can't take my mind off of you... my mind... my mind..."

And it all ties together, doesn't it?