Last Entry of 2008

Well here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for: the year is just about finished and we're just about to move into 2009. I can't say that 2008 has been good; I think it's had its shares of highs and lows, but more of the lows.

As in accordance with my life's turn of events, a lot of this year has been about my inability to prioritize things in my life: school, faith, family, friendships, and even the trivial things like playing the guitar or videogames. All it ended up being was catch-up and consolations; I can't say I like that. In fact, I will say that I hate it. I've disappointed a lot of people with this procrastinator's mentality: myself, my family, my friends, teachers. I must change this.

Where there was also loss of willpower and work ethic, there was also loss of others in life. This year has been full off loss all around and just being in the community exposes it to me. Two stick out to me this year: one in the beginning of the year and one near the end. I won't mention names out of respect but it truly does disappoint me that this year, as promising as people make it out to be, only gives out pain. For them, and for all we lost this year, rest in peace.

Perhaps like my parents, I've been estranged from some of the closer friends in my life whether it be of my own alienation or of their unknown motives. Truth be told, it sucks to know that you ended up alienating your own friends, ones that you've known for the better part of your life. What hurts more, though, is your friends forcing the end of a friendship for their own selfish suppositions where they can not see the error of their ways and disposition. Maybe it is better that way.

Faith has been a rollercoaster ride this year. As with every year, I resolved to re-establish my faith life with God. I can say that I did that this year and this happened with Senior Peer Ministry as well as Encounter XXVI. But, as others often say, there will always be the period after the religious high where you come crashing down to Earth. That's happened to me three times this year: once after the Senior Peer Minsitry retreat, once after Encounter XXVI, and the last after Encounter XXVII. I will say I'm disappointed in myself for not making a more conscious effort to retain some of the things I promised myself; I hope the year will change.

Friendships took a drastic turn this year. As with other people, I branched out to a more "real world" environment. The social action against Scientology was a major catalyst in this. It brought me friendships with like-minded people that I still hold today; I am happy because of this. It is good to be exposed to the world that will follow out of this bubble-world of private school. I've cultivated my own friendships within school too, fostering them out of acquaintance and receiving more than I thought.

What can I say about love? As always, I've been disappointed. I came close though, and for that I am happy, regardless of how things turned out. While it may have been the reason for my Sonnets, it's something that I wish I could eternally hold dear. It's a double-edged sword, I guess.

I must change my life, that much is sure. My resolutions are as follows:

1. Set my priorities in my life.
   
2. Do not do things last minute; plan ahead and take responsibility for my homework, work, and other responsibilities that I may have.
3. Do not alienate others and truly relish the friendships I have now; do not lose what I must hold so dear.
   
4. Build on the faith I re-established with God. Go to every Sunday mass and the two days of obligations.
5. Stay connected with family and hold a good relationship with them; that means mom, pa, Roy, and Nanay.
   
6. Set my goals and actually follow through in the process and execution of the goals.
7. Get in shape and do not neglect to take care of myself.
   

Here's to a good 2009!